How to write product descriptions that convert (a 4-line template)

The 4-line product description template I use for every client. Plus the openings to avoid.

Most product descriptions are written like museum plaques. They state what the product is. They list its features. They sit there politely while the visitor scrolls past and adds nothing to the basket.

A product description is not a label. It is a sales pitch with a word limit. And after writing them for every type of ecommerce client, from candle makers to industrial parts suppliers, I’ve settled on a four-line template that works almost every time. Here it is.

The 4-line product description template

Each line does one job. Skip a line and the description collapses. Use them in this order:

1. Line 1, The hook. Open with the result the buyer wants, not the product itself.
2. Line 2, The proof. One specific detail that makes the promise believable.
3. Line 3, The sensory or practical detail. How it feels, fits, smells, or slots into their life.
4. Line 4, The reassurance. Sizing, returns, materials, or whatever removes the last hesitation.

That’s it. Four lines, four jobs. No filler, no “introducing my latest…”, no thesaurus abuse. If you can’t fit a line on one screen of a mobile phone, it’s too long.

Worked example: a £42 scented candle

Here’s the template applied to a candle, which is the hardest product category to write for because everyone sells the same wax in different jars.

Bergamot Smoke, 220g

The candle people light when they want the room to feel like a quiet bar at 9pm, not a spa at 11am.

Hand-poured in small batches in Sheffield, using a soy-coconut blend that gives a clean, even burn for around 45 hours.

The scent throw fills a kitchen-diner without becoming sweet, with smoked bergamot up top and a base of vetiver and cracked black pepper.

Ships in fully recyclable packaging. Free UK delivery over £40, and if the throw doesn’t suit your space, send it back within 30 days for a full refund.

Look at what each line does. Line 1 sells the mood, not the candle. Line 2 proves it’s not mass-produced tat. Line 3 gives the sensory detail that makes someone imagine owning it. Line 4 closes the deal.

Worked example: a B2B industrial part

The template doesn’t only work for lifestyle products. Here it is applied to an M6 stainless steel bolt, which sounds impossible to write about until you remember the buyer has a specific problem.

M6 x 30mm A4 Marine Stainless Bolt

The bolt you fit when the job is somewhere wet and you don’t want to be back next year replacing it.

A4-grade 316 stainless, certified to ISO 3506 with full traceability on every batch, the same grade specified for offshore and coastal use.

DIN 933 hex head, fully threaded, fits any standard 10mm spanner or socket and stocked in pack sizes from 10 to 500.

In stock for next-day UK delivery, with technical data sheets available on request and bulk pricing tiers from 100 units.

Same template, completely different tone, same job done.

The openings to avoid

These are the opening lines I see on almost every ecommerce site, and they all kill the sale before line two:

• “Introducing…” No one outside your marketing team cares that it’s new. The buyer cares whether it’s right.
• “Our [product] is the perfect…” Empty. Anyone can say this about anything. It is the verbal equivalent of beige.
• “Made from premium materials…” “Premium” is a word people use when they don’t want to name the actual material. Buyers spot it instantly.
• “Designed for the modern…” Designed for the modern what? Person? Lifestyle? Kitchen? Without the noun, this sentence is wallpaper.
• “Crafted with passion…” Possibly the most overused phrase in ecommerce. It tells the buyer nothing they can verify.
• Restating the product title. If the title says “Linen Throw Cushion 50x50cm”, line one should not begin “This linen throw cushion…”. You’ve wasted the opening.

The pattern across all of those: they describe the product from the seller’s point of view. The hook line in the template flips that, it opens from the buyer’s point of view, with the result they’re shopping for.

How to write the hook line

The hook is the line most people get stuck on. A shortcut that works: finish the sentence “This is what you buy when…”. The answer is your line one. “This is what you buy when you want your hallway to smell expensive without trying too hard.” “This is what you buy when you’re tired of cheap bolts rusting on the boat.” Then trim the scaffolding off the front.

Roll it out across the catalogue

Once the template is set, the rest is volume. Pick your ten best-selling products, rewrite those first, and watch what happens to the conversion rate on those specific pages. Don’t rewrite the whole catalogue in one go, prove it on the products that already get traffic, then work outwards. That’s the order that actually moves revenue, rather than the order that feels productive.